remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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