: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
