cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
