Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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