In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
