How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
