I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
