I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
