Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
