So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
