So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
