the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
