Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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