is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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