brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
