It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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