Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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