just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
