Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
