Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
