can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
vagina is talking i cant
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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