Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
