He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Drunk is not a location!
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