wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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