So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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