I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i dont even know how to be here
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
