I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Randomize
