...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you never un-have a 4some
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
