isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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