Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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