i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
