dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
