so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
