We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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