we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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