Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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