Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
