I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
