I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What a dumb baby whore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
