can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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