ugly people sure do ruin things
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
