she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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