Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
