it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
