i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
