I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
