we have officially lost it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
