I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
