you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
