I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
