Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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